“When you possibly can’t look on the intense aspect, I’ll sit with you at the hours of darkness.” ~Unknown
There are moments in life when ache feels consuming—when it lingers, reshapes us, and forces us to confront elements of ourselves we’ve lengthy prevented. Not too long ago, I discovered myself in a type of moments.
I used to be overwhelmed, unraveling, and isolating, making an attempt to make sense of feelings that felt heavy. In that house, I wrote this message to a detailed buddy—somebody who has stood by me by my highs and lows, but somebody I now notice I haven’t all the time proven up for in the way in which they deserved.
That is greater than only a letter. It’s an acknowledgment of the load we stock, the way in which we heal, and the significance of holding house for these we love.
It’s a reminder that ache doesn’t have to be rushed, that therapeutic isn’t about fixing however about remembering we had been by no means damaged to start with. And most significantly, it’s a promise—to my buddy, to myself, and to anybody who has ever felt unseen—that we’re by no means actually alone.
Right here’s my message…
You realize, these previous few days, all I’ve executed is sleep, assume, cry, and take heed to music. I haven’t left the home except it’s for work, and even then, I really feel like I’m simply going by the motions.
I’ve been letting myself really feel all the things—selecting to sit down with it—though it’s terrifying. It feels deep and uncooked, and typically it pulls me into locations so heavy, I’m wondering if I’ll ever discover my means out. However unusually, in all of that darkness, it looks like one thing inside me is shedding and peeling away. It’s painful, however on the identical time, it’s therapeutic. It’s the sort of ache that comes with progress, even when it doesn’t really feel prefer it within the second.
I do know this most likely sounds heavy, perhaps even overwhelming, however one thing triggered this—one thing related to an previous, deeply rooted wound for me—and it’s compelled me to sit down with feelings I’ve been carrying for a very long time. The influence I’ve had, it’s laborious to elucidate, even to myself, however I really feel like one thing has shifted—in life and inside me.
Right here’s what I’ve come to understand: Ache doesn’t have to be rushed. Therapeutic doesn’t have to be rushed.
Generally, we simply have to let ourselves be in our emotions, even when it’s messy and laborious. And what I’ve realized is that we will maintain house for our unhappiness with out letting it outline us. By sitting with it and never operating away, we give it an opportunity to show us one thing about who we’re, the place we’ve been, and the place we’re headed.
I do know sitting in it for too lengthy isn’t wholesome. However there’s an influence in honoring your feelings, in giving your self permission to really feel what you are feeling with out judgment. It’s an act of affection and compassion towards your self, a reminder that your ache is legitimate, your journey is legitimate, and you’re legitimate.
With out diving into the entire story simply but—which I promise I’ll share with you when the time feels proper—I would like you to know that I see you. I admire your persistence with me by all of this, and I would like you to understand how a lot love I’ve for you.
I do know it hasn’t been straightforward for you. For some time now, there have been so many moments which have felt overwhelming, and lots of wounds have reopened and been re-triggered.
If I might return, I might’ve proven up otherwise in each single second you trusted me together with your emotions. I might’ve made certain you by no means felt disgrace for feeling the way in which you probably did. As a substitute of making an attempt to repair it, I might’ve sat with you within the discomfort and reminded you that your feelings are usually not a burden and that you’re worthy of affection even in your hardest moments.
I see now how necessary it’s to let somebody really feel their emotions totally and to carry house for them with out judgment or strain. I want I might’ve executed that for you each time. However what I can do now’s present you, transferring ahead, that not everybody will allow you to down. Not everybody will depart.
My love for you runs deep. I see you. I see all of you—your power, your softness, your magnificence, even within the hardest moments. And I would like you to know, and not using a shadow of a doubt, that you’re beloved. You might be sufficient precisely as you’re, and I’m right here for you. All the time.
I invite you to maintain sharing your emotions with me. I’ll maintain house for you in the way in which you deserve and remind you each single day that you’re beloved and seen. You don’t have to hold something alone, and there’s no rush to be “okay.”
Take your time. Therapeutic isn’t about fixing your self; it’s about remembering that you simply had been by no means damaged to start with. It’s okay to really feel deeply. It’s an indication of your humanity, your braveness, and your capability to like. Be light with your self. Compassion isn’t simply one thing you give to others—it’s one thing you need to obtain, particularly from your self.
And regardless of how heavy issues get in life, keep in mind, you’re not alone, and therapeutic is just not linear.
I’m right here, and I’ll preserve displaying up for you as you present up for your self.
I really like you.
About Mirsada Asipi
Mirsada Asipi lives in Iowa, born to refugee mother and father. Their silent struggles formed her. She’s spent a lot of her life carrying the load of issues left unsaid—hers and theirs. Journaling turned the one place she may very well be totally sincere, a solution to course of ache, fact, and the tenderness in between. This message, like a lot of what she writes, is for anybody who’s ever felt unseen. You’re not an excessive amount of. You’re not alone. You might be, and have all the time been, worthy.